Facing Your Reality is Respectable with Honesty and Self Reflection

Even people you have known a long time can be stressed to the point and down on themselves to gossip or not catch themselves looking for faults in others and making them the scapegoat instead of facing their own reality and outlook and life. As I told someone close to me that sacred space is a respectable idea but if you feel threatened in your space and hibernate between 4 walls in a more frequent pattern; then there the sacred space is no longer sacred space...it becomes a tomb you interpret as your refuge hiding and making it a point to downward spiral into more darkness. When someone is unable to speak the truth; or has trapped themselves giving over their power; then they have done well to test the waters or repeated patterns of an undesirable way of giving over their voice and power to the point they don't know how to get out. When someone has an unhealthy pattern of relationships; their coping skills are not adapted and learned to rise up; then the go to coping skills is premature and they do not understand they are committing their own crime of self reflection and stop before speaking spontaneously to see themselves in their own mirror. If the excuse to not self reflect is there; the easiest unhealthy route is to find fault and make it the rule to scapegoat and judge others to have them stick to their first thought or word and go from that as the excuse instead of saying I cannot cope with this situation. Sometimes, honesty is not seen here when unclear as a reality. When I see an unhealthy coping skill; I just now internally and verbally say to them to release them that I can remove myself from this situation that is causing you pain or stress because it doesn't mean they are weak or I am weak is it is not the right time or place to expect to remedy or heal if they are not healed and why compound it and release each other in peace and not think that the unhealthy situation needs to continue and allow each other space peacefully. Not yin yang in emotions and words that don't remedy peace between each other. Think about the human frailty and beauty of it coming into honesty letting each other go in the direction they wish to go. Don't continue to think you were weak and defensively say they are weak for saying the truth. When confidentiality is asked ...respect that and don't go telling everybody or anyone about it. You just make a whirlwind of chaos and build that making doubt and trust not be there. Don't turn things around and make someone the good or bad guy for having them and us state our boundaries and needing other space. That's like hey I care but it's too much and now you wish to create your own life and choices not agreeing with mine so I will condemn you to make me feel I didn't fail. You failed...that's a crude way of saying I cannot cope or look bad so I have got to make it so dramatic so I feel justified even though you and I are human. That's life and live and let other's live. Dictating what other's need to fit into your life is a person unable to realize everyone is flawed and making it worse by gossip doesn't improve for the future. If someone tells you criterias that are impossible to live by to give them peace...that's no peace at all both ways. Extract yourself from such nonsense and live a life with more mature and established people in your life. Leave them be. That's the most compassionate way to deal with anyone in a dark space.