Happiness - That's all on You!

When we meet a person; we must look at our own lives to see how happy we are. You don’t have to be happy all the time and you don’t have to pretend everything is rosy and be real. If you are unafraid to feel and express it sincerely; it is a road to being whole and in truth. Some people walk around on this earth expecting others to fulfill their happiness. When happiness depends on what you decide each day or to each situation. Is it worth it to be unhappy, silently losing yourself in truth and lying to yourself when you aren’t happy? I don’t think so.

Well, I just wanted to give examples of many partnerships or marriages that people learn not to be themselves and grow by opening themselves up to being honestly flawed. I wouldn’t say marry or bond right away until you understand the relationship is temporary, is it for fun or is it a distraction and you place the responsibility of your happiness on the other person’s shoulders?

What do you gain from being dishonest and not showing yourself fully? Some people aren’t meant for partnerships and marriage and that’s not a bad thing. When you say you are not interested in a partnership and marriage, that you like being by yourself and occasionally hooking up with folks is a real thing. Then people know who they are dealing with and you know yourself and what you deal with in your life. This is the road to happiness…you carve it out by being real. Is there a ‘way’ to happiness? No, there are altered routes to that and there are pit stops or pondering. There are marinades and ruminations of this ‘relationship’ but happiness is a relationship you learn to develop as an adult in the way you think independently and discover who you are and aren’t afraid to show it to everyone.

I believe there are folks who can make a partnership and marriage work but you will find these days there are alterations of the ‘old school way’ of being in it. How far you get into it and what you mutually agree gets altered in each of you and your relationship to self and each other is between you and your partner.

When you think you know yourself; try and see whether you depend on someone else so much for your livelihood in your own mind that you ignore improving yourself and communicating this with your partner and vice versa. It is a mutual thing in harmony to improve oneself and announce the flaws in the work.

I give you an example; married folks who are unhappily married will prod along for the sake of false harmony and following the lines that are too archaic and rigid anymore to find harmony. It is our religious, patriarchal and matriarchal one sidedness, our spiritual, scholastic and affiliations that can deter our growth. It comes a time a distraction instead of living the truth is a desperate need to find happiness when you keep walking down the same path, doing the same behavior and responses and non communication or honestly try to resolve that you find it easier to have loose relationships to fulfill a misguided need to buffer your pain when you become a predator and you look for and disrespect another human being, leading them on, lying to them to get what your temporary distraction is and brag about it to others of your conquests and drop that person who was in it for their heart; then you become someone people will avoid. Because living a lie and then lying to get others to satisfy a temporary whim is no solution...it's a sad domino effect that will lead you back to the issues you didn't cover in yourself or address in each other if you are a couple.

The darkness grows in your heart and you've become entitled and assume people are things for your entertainment, your time and then like a toy…you toss them away. This will never give you any resolve to happiness because you aren’t invested in it. Sometimes, the most honest thing to do if you can’t commit or talk anymore is not stay in toxicity with each other but divorce or separate making sure you do not become a dark force not equally sharing finances especially in long terms relationships you built assets and finances together and finances are the means to have an end of quality life and wish each other well.

You can’t hold each other prisoner and expand on toxicity and negativity; you must realize you are doing something wrong; get the help and get out of the way of each other’s happiness you truly want. I’ve seen people go to strip clubs, watch porn and hire escorts or prostitutes. They all have one role is pleasure that is temporary but it doesn’t resolve what’s deep inside of you…You are lonely, you are unhappy and you need to do something healthy and positive about it to resolve by pure choice of your own problems with vulnerability, intimacy and trauma. Sometimes, it may be a factor of taking risky behaviors and thrill seeking that are dangerous, gambling, drinking and taking too much pharma or plant medicines that you can't even function and engage healthily.

It's a numbers game...all a game to the narcissist or predator if dealing with one. They don't care about others and want like a drug; a quick 'fix.' Doesn't ever take care or change anything and back to the desperate seeking temporary fixes to avoid themselves and their partner/spouse. They tend to numb themselves and to make it even worse; their desperation shows when they brag about their conquests or ill-planned future ones...that don't even manifest at all. The victims are like disposable paper...next but the next and the next one never remedies the truth on what you need is communication and be real to each other and work on keeping yourself real and healthy taking steps to heal rather than keep living an imitation lie of how wonderful your life is..To take responsibility and apologize and get the healing you need over your weakness to resolve is in order. This is the most adult and compassionate thing to do. It’s not about money, it’s not about things you have because all that doesn’t matter if you are unhappy at the end of the day. If you act as if things are fine and then explode on each other because you aren’t getting what you want from each other…then be adults and part ways. Don’t put things on someone else about your own problems and get therapy to improve yourself and surrender to the fact that there is something wrong, you did contribute to something wrong and be compassionate to each other’s needs not being met. Learn and live and have a quality life where you choose happiness from now on making amends and watching your patterns of disharmony and illusion and work towards harmony, love and reality.

I can’t sugar coat anything anymore and happiness is all on you. Make the right choice and life is best in truth not pretending everything is fine when you are miserable and dying inside. Nothing is permanent and you might as well live in reality instead of illusion and false images.

Much loving light hugs in truth and true love.